Jun. 18, 2001
"Are You Ready to Rock?":
The Use of Rhetorical Questions in Rock & Roll

Question: "How ya’ll doin’ tonight?"
Answer: "Wooooo!"

Question: "Are you ready to rock?"
Answer: "Woooooo!"

Question: "I SAID ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?"
Answer: "WOOOOO!"

Question: "Any requests?"
Answer: (Jumble of voices shouting the names of different songs plus one guy yelling "Freebird!" while the band simply plays whatever is next on the set list)

Clearly, rock and roll would not be what it is today without the artful use of the rhetorical question. Performers and audience members alike depend on simple rhetorical questions like these (in conjunction with bold statements such as "Hello, Atlanta!") to set the mood of silliness and intoxication which is the true purpose of rock and roll concerts, particularly those which take place in large stadiums and arenas in the summertime. When we hear that first question shouted from the stage, we are reassured that we will not be needing our brain cells for the next few hours and that all that will be required of us is the occasional spirited shout. And we can all manage that, can't we? (Rhetorical question. Of course we can!) After all, the sound is usually loud and distorted to the point where the audience cannot actually hear the music, and anyway, if we wanted to listen to the music we would stay home and put on the CD. No, the true purpose of rock and roll concerts is to sit in a haze of pot smoke with a beer in one hand and a glow stick in the other and attempt to convince oneself that one is much younger than the rest of the geezers sitting there in the cheap seats in their khaki shorts and tucked in white t-shirts, cell phones at the ready. (Of course, then we race to the parking lot the second the last note of the last encore has been played, yawning at 11:00 p.m.)

I went to an 80's concert last night at Lakewood (oops, I mean Hi-Fi Buys) Ampitheatre. We missed The Motels because our tickets said 7:00 instead of 6:00, but we saw The Outfield, The Fixx, Asia and Berlin. I had a good time. I saw only one girl the whole night who was dressed appropriately for an 80’s rock and roll concert, and she made good use of her sheer blouse, black and white striped pants and bright blue eyeshadow by jumping up on the stage to dance with The Fixx. (I wouldn’t have minded dancing with The Fixx my own self, particularly the guitar player. If anyone out there has his number, I’d be ever so grateful.) Other than that, everyone was tastefully summer casual; I only saw one case of acid-washed denim the whole night. It was very disappointing. Aside from the occasional 12-year-old, clearly dragged by parents and praying for a power outage, everyone seemed to be having a good time. The early middle-aged (surely I am not early middle-aged) couples around me were mouthing the words while occasionally looking around self-consciously to make sure they were not the only ones mouthing the words, and some of the braver ones danced. Me, I just watched for once, though normally I’d have been one of the dancers. I was with my friend Matthew (of the band Karma Lingo), and he tends to approach rock concerts with more of an analytical bent, so we mostly talked about what was "working" and what flat-out sucked. (Working: Berlin’s new material. Sucked: Asia.)

I am now the proud owner of a PA system! I took Charles (a.k.a. Jedediah) with me, and he did such a good job. I spent a lot less than I had budgeted, and I got exactly what I needed. Now I can be heard over the cappucino machine when I go on tour, which can only be a good thing. I hope to see some of you on tour.

One last thought: "I just wanna use your love tonight./I don’t wanna lose your love tonight." What the hell does that mean? So many thesis topics, so little time.

What’s in my stereo at home: